


Dream a Little Dream of Me

by blackimpala



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Case Fic, Domestic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Pining, Post-Season/Series 13, Rating will change, Touch-Starved Dean Winchester, djinn case
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-27 04:35:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30117240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackimpala/pseuds/blackimpala
Summary: Dean and Cas drive to Vermont to investigate a case involving a djinn. Unfortunately, when they get where the djinn hides, they get separated and the djinn finds Dean and puts him to sleep.When Dean wakes up, he finds that his dream consists of living in a nice house in the woods with Cas, who he is happily married to. Dean knows he has to leave the dream as soon as possible, but he is secretly in love with Cas and the dream is offering him everything his heart wants.Dean decides to remain in the dream for a day and then leave, just so he can know what it feels like to be with Cas for a little while. He only hopes that Cas doesn’t end up getting in his dream to save him, because that would definitely ruin their friendship.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 28
Kudos: 69





	1. At the End of the Night, Catch my Dreams Tonight

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go again with another fic. This is set after season 13, but Michael died in the apocalypse world and he never possessed Dean.
> 
> I'll try to update this every two weeks and I hope you all enjoy it. As always, I apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes you might find along the way, because English isn't my mother tongue.
> 
> As a side note, the fic is titled after the song _Dream a Little Dream of Me_ by The Mamas and The Papas. I know they didn't originally write the song, but it's the version I have heard the most and the one that I like. Also, every chapter is titled after a song lyric with the word dream in it. This chapter is titled after the unreleased song _Dreamcatcher_ by Green Day.

Despite the chillness of the autumn wind, Dean drives with his window rolled down. He does so not only because he wants to feel the soft caress of the wind on his face, but also because he has always loved the smell of trees during the fall.

Next to him, Castiel is quiet, looking at the moving landscape of Vermont, with its forests painted in different shades of red, orange and yellow. It almost looks like he is completely absorbed by the view, but his fingers drum on his thigh whenever the chorus of the Led Zeppelin songs they are listening to come by.

Every now and then, Dean steals a glance at his best friend, appreciating for as long as he can the tiny smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

It’s the two of them alone on a case in Vermont. Sam is on the other side of the country, working a case with Mary. Jack is in Heaven, using his powers with the help of Gabriel to restore Heaven’s power. After defeating both Lucifer and Michael in the Apocalypse world, Gabriel still refused to be part of Heaven, but he proposed Jack to help him for a while. It’s a work in progress, but it’s going better than anyone could have expected. Cas also helps as much as he can when he is needed to, but his relationship with Heaven is complicated, so he doesn’t go to Heaven that often.

While Jack chooses to divide his time equally between Earth and Heaven, Cas mostly spends all his time on Earth. Dean is so damn happy to have Cas around, living with him and Sam, but at the same time, Dean is scared that Cas will eventually grow tired of this life. He is an angel, after all, a celestial wavelength; he was made for bigger and better things than spending his days with a fucked up hunter.

Someday, Cas will realize his mistake and leave. It is only a matter of time, Dean knows it. But meanwhile, Dean is going to enjoy his time with Cas as much as possible.

“I have always found it fascinating that autumn can make the announcement of death look so beautiful,” Castiel says softly, breaking Dean away from his thoughts.

Dean looks away from the road again to rest his eyes on Cas, who is still looking at the passing trees.

“It’s more like a rebirth than death. Or kind of like a transition, I guess,” Dean says, casually. His words make Castiel look at him with attentive eyes. “The trees remain; it’s just the leaves that die.”

“Perhaps,” Castiel concedes, making some sort of hum.

“That doesn’t sound like you agree,” Dean huffs.

Castiel lets out a soft chuckle. “I should let you know that I don’t think you are entirely wrong.”

Dean quirks his brow. “But I’m not entirely right either, am I?”

“When you humans refer to a tree, it is always a tree with leaves,” Castiel begins to explain calmly. “But whenever you refer to a tree that has lost its leaves, you mostly have to add that detail, as if the tree wasn’t completely a tree because it is leafless.”

“So, what you’re saying is that I’m not completely wrong, but you also aren’t completely right, isn’t it?”

Castiel rolls his eyes and shakes his head, but there is a smile making its way into his lips. Dean starts laughing, which makes Castiel look at him with one of his less menacing glares.

“C’mon, Cas, don’t give me that deadly look,” Dean teases as he elbows Cas’ side playfully. “I’m just teasing you. Besides, I found what you said interesting.”

Castiel huffs in disbelief. “Sure.”

“Hey,” Dean says softly. He places his hand on Cas’ knee and gives it a reassuring squeeze. Cas tilts his head until their eyes meet. “I mean it,” Dean adds.

Castiel simply looks at him and nods.

Dean gives him a smile and he places his hand back on the wheel. He wishes he could keep his hand on Cas’ knee, but that’s not something that best friends do. Every fiber of Dean yearns to touch Cas and to be touched by Cas, but Dean fights against that feeling. As much as he wants to break the small distance in between them every time they are alone, Dean can’t. Cas isn’t in love with him; he doesn’t want the things Dean wants.

But sometimes Dean wonders if Cas might. There have been times when Dean has wondered if Cas felt the same over the years, but he has never asked Cas. Dean knows he is a coward, that he should get his shit together and just ask Cas, but Dean is so afraid of being rejected and even worse, losing Cas.

Dean lost Cas over a year ago when Lucifer killed him. Those weeks when he had to live without Cas were some of the worst moments of his life. He knew Cas wasn’t going to come back. He had prayed, but he hadn’t obtained any answer. Cas was dead, and Dean was left on Earth, mourning the love of his life, who died without knowing that Dean loved him.

But luckily, Cas came back to him, like he always did. And Dean had a second chance, but he didn’t take it. He had Cas back, and he wasn’t going to risk confessing his love in fear of losing Cas again.

Dean would rather have Cas as his best friend forever than confess his love and lose Cas.

He might wonder if Cas might feel the same way about him, but in the end, deep down, Dean knows that it is just his imagination making him see hope where there isn’t. Cas might do things that can be considered things that best friends definitely don’t do, but he’s an angel; it’s not like he knows about those things and rules.

“Are we going to stop for lunch before we go to the morgue?” Castiel asks, dragging Dean away from his thoughts again.

“Nah,” Dean answers. “I prefer eating after we see the victims, y’know? I don’t wanna end up throwing up in the morgue. My stomach can handle a lot of shit, but you never know what kind of gross fluids or smells you’re gonna find on someone who’s been killed by a monster.”

“That’s true,” Castiel agrees, nodding. “Although I doubt there would be any fluids left on the victims; the coroner said that all their blood was drained.”

“Not taking any chances, buddy,” Dean insists.

Castiel smiles softly and Dean finds himself mirroring that smile.

He keeps driving to their destiny, feeling that overwhelming and familiar pang in his chest.

* * *

The first thing they do when they arrive to town is get themselves a motel room. Once they have the key, they bring some of their stuff into the room and then Dean changes into his suit in the bathroom while Castiel sits on the bed, letting Sam know that they have arrived to their destiny.

“Got your badge?” Dean asks as he comes out of the bathroom.

“Yes,” Castiel answers, standing up from the bed.

Dean looks at him briefly and then walks towards the angel to fix his tie and button up the top button of his shirt.

“What are you doing?” Castiel asks, tilting his head to one side and squinting his eyes. It’s a gesture that Cas does too often, and Dean always finds it adorable.

“We’re pretending to be FBI guys, Cas,” Dean explains. He can feel his face heating up slightly because of his blush. He can hide it by keeping his head down as he fixes Cas’ blue tie. “We need to look the part, and that means we’ve gotta look tidied up.” He gives Cas one last look and then he pulls away. “Alright, we’re good to go. C’mon.”

Dean turns around and grabs the keys of the Impala as well as their room’s key. As he waits for Cas to leave the room, Dean pats himself, making sure that he is carrying everything, that he isn’t forgetting anything.

“You should grab your coat,” Castiel says, and Dean swears there is some shyness in his voice. “It will grow colder the later it gets.”

Dean can’t help smiling at that. “Don’t worry, it’s in the trunk.”

Castiel nods. “Good.”

They both get in the Impala after that. The drive to the sheriff station is short and they spend that time in a comfortable silence.

Dean parks near the sheriff station and then he and Cas get out of the Impala. The path towards the entrance is partially covered in fallen leaves that crunch under their shoes, and the sound makes Dean smile.

“Get your badge ready,” Dean whispers before he and Cas step through the doors of the station.

They soon find the sheriff, Rose Morris, a woman in her late thirties with strawberry blond hair and grey eyes, who is sitting at her table and watches their approaching with a frown.

“I’m agent Armstrong and he’s agent Dirnt, FBI,” Dean informs as he shows his badge. He takes a quick look at Cas, who, for once, doesn’t have his badge looking upside down. “We’re here because of the bloodless bodies found on Monday.”

The article that Dean and Cas read before coming to Vermont had stated that, due to the heavy and constant raining during the weekend, eight bodies were discovered in a ditch. The coroner had stated that all of the victims had been drained to dead, and that it looked as if the victims had been killed in pairs, because even thought there were eight bodies, there were only four different timestamps of death.

“You guys are fast,” Morris says. Given the amount of bodies that were found, Dean isn’t surprised that the sheriff isn’t confused about the presence of the ‘FBI’ in her town. She motions to the chairs, letting them know that they can sit down, so that’s what they do. “You’ve got any idea who we’re dealing with?”

“We have our suspicions, but we won’t know until we see the bodies,” Dean explains, falling easily into the charade.

“I hope you manage to shed some light on this, because we don’t have any idea what’s going on, and the town is really worried about these events.” She sighs and then she grabs from her table a sheet of paper. “Before I show you the bodies, I need you to sign this paper. It’s just to show the record of who comes into the morgue. We are taking precautions. Some think this is the work of a cult and they might want to come here to steal the bodies, or who knows.”

“We understand,” Castiel says seriously.

Morris nods in appreciation and she slides the sheet towards Dean. Then, she hands Dean a pen, their fingers brushing just momentarily; in the past Dean might have felt something about that gesture, but it’s been a long time since anyone except Cas caught his interest. As Dean signs his fake name, the sheriff hands Cas another pen.

After Castiel signs, the three of them stand up and Morris guides them towards the morgue. She quickly explains what Dean and Cas already know, and then she leaves them alone to take a look at the bodies.

“None of them have any types of marks on their necks,” Castiel says a few seconds after Morris has left.

“No vampire nor vetala, then,” Dean adds. “And all of them have their hearts, so it’s not a ghoul-pire either.”

Castiel scoffs in irritation. “They’re called nachzehrer, Dean.”

“Ghoul-pire sounds better and easier to remember.”

Castiel replies by rolling his eyes.

“So, we’re dealing with a djinn,” Dean supplies. “And the normal kind, not the kind who likes to turn your insides into jelly and feed on nightmares.” Carefully, he pokes a gloved finger on the victim’s stomach, making sure that the body feels normal. Satisfied, he pulls his finger away and looks at Cas, who has a pensive face. “What is it?”

“Why is the djinn killing in pairs?” Castiel wonders, looking at Dean. “That’s quite unusual. They usually feed on one person until they have drained them completely before feeding from another person.”

“Yeah, that’s weird, man. If they lived in packs like vampires, they might get two victims to feed them all, but djinns are solitary beings. The only time we encountered two djinns was because it was a mother and a son, and even then, they both feed from the same victim.”

Castiel grabs the reports of the two more recent victims, reading them to himself. “Could you please take a look at the estimated time of death of the second most recent deceased pair?”

“Sure.”

Dean walks to where those reports are and he quickly finds the estimated time of death for each of those two.

“How much time passed between the death of the first victim and the death of the second victim?” Castiel asks, noticing Dean’s confused frown.

“Not more than ten minutes,” Dean answers.

“Same with these two,” Castiel replies, pointing at the bodies in front of him. “I believe that the same thing happened with the other two remaining pairs.” He walks towards the reports of the third pair, while Dean walks towards the reports of the fourth pair.

“Holy fuck, these two also died less than ten minutes apart,” Dean mutters.

“These two also did.” Castiel takes a deep breath and leaves the reports back in their places. “Why would the djinn kill two victims almost at the same time?”

“No fucking idea, Cas.” Dean exhales sharply and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Maybe it’s another breed of djinn that needs to drink a huge amount of blood to stay alive.”

“That’s unlikely. Monsters that prey humans don’t need to eat more than what a single human body can offer. Werewolves only need one heart, vampires can survive on a single victim for days, ghouls can eat for a few days as well on a single corpse, and so on with every monster.”

Dean grimaces. “What if they’re just some glutton?”

Castiel sighs, considering the question. “If that were the case, it still would be strange that all these victims died in pairs with just ten minutes of difference. If this djinn were a glutton, as you just said, the time of death apart from in between the two victims should have varied at least once. Even if we were talking about two djinns, the times of death should have also varied at one point. But it is always the same.”

“You think there’s a reason why the deaths are just only ten minutes apart?”

“I do think that,” Cas answers. “But I don’t know what the reason might be.”

Dean remains quiet for a moment, taking a look around as he thinks about their situation. “Okay, well, we’re gonna grab some lunch first, and then we’ll visit the families of the victims who were from around here, and we’ll ask them if they know where was the last place these people were seen before they disappeared. Hopefully, that’ll give us some hint and we can start researching where this djinn is hiding.”

“Okay,” Castiel says. “Do we have a silver knife and lamb’s blood in the Impala?”

“Dude,” Dean scoffs, almost offended. “Of course we have that in the Impala. Who do you think you’re talking to? Some newbie hunter? How dare you think I’ve come unprepared!” At his last sentence, Dean makes sure to look and sound both annoyed and offended

Castiel rolls his eyes and chuckles bitterly, but once again, there is a smile on his lips, and Dean finds himself grinning.

* * *

After lunch, the rest of their afternoon is spent talking with the families of their victims who lived in town. They find out that all the victims had something in common; each pair was composed of two close friends. But apart from that, each pair disappeared in different places.

By the time they talk to the last family, Dean and Castiel drive towards a Chinese restaurant, grab some take out, and head back to the motel to eat together. Cas still protests every once in a while about the taste of molecules on certain foods, but overall, he eats most of the food Dean and Sam eat. He also seems to enjoy a lot anything that Dean cooks, something that Dean secretly loves.

After they eat, Dean starts hacking the security cameras of a bar one of the pair of victims was last seen, hoping to find the footage of the night they disappeared. Once he has succeeded on hacking those cameras, he uses Cas’ laptop to do the same but with the cameras in front of a restaurant where another pair of victims was last seen. That one is easier to hack, and the two of them are soon looking at the footage, trying to find something useful.

They are only ten minutes in that task when Dean starts yawning.

“You should go to sleep,” Castiel says.

Dean rubs his tired eyes and rolls his sore shoulders. “We’ve just started this.”

“Dean,” Cas insists, with a soft voice. His fingers brush Dean’s hand, just momentarily, but enough to catch Dean’s attention and make him mourn the loss of Cas’ warm and brief touch. “You need to rest.”

Dean wants to argue, but he finds that he can’t. He is tired from driving and from going from one place to another since they arrived to town. He needs to get some sleep. He knows he will work better after he gets his four hours of sleep.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Dean says, turning off his laptop. “Are you gonna stay awake and keep looking at that footage?”

“No,” Castiel answers. “You are a light sleeper and my occasional typing and clicking might wake you up. I don’t want to disrupt your sleep. We can look at the footage tomorrow morning. It’ll be more effective if we both look at the different footages together.”

“Okay, yeah— okay,” Dean manages to say. He feels his blush spreading on his face. It always catches him off guard whenever Cas says things that show how much he cares about Dean.

It also makes Dean’s heart do wild things.

“But you better not watch me sleep, that’s creepy,” Dean says as he grabs his pajamas.

“I won’t, Dean,” Castiel grunts. “You have stated that on several occasions.”

Dean chuckles amused, and heads to the bathroom to relieve himself and put on his night clothes. By the time he comes out, Cas is on his own bed, free of his trench coat and suit jacket. He is reading one of Dean’s many old books; he always carries a few every time they go hunting, because after all, Cas still doesn’t need to sleep. He even carries a tiny lamp that lights up the pages, just bright enough to read the book, but not too bright to bother Dean’s sleep.

Seeing Cas like that, looking so human and so soft, puts on a big grin on Dean’s face. The smile is accompanied with the familiar pang of longing that always comes whenever Dean sees Cas like this. He wishes he could just lean and kiss him, run his fingers through his hair and join him by his side and keep kissing as they snuggle together.

Ashamed, Dean quickly moves past Cas’ bed to his own bed, on the other side of the room, feeling embarrassed for wanting something he knows he can’t have.

The moment he gets in the bed, he instantly misses his mattress at the bunker. The bed isn’t that bad, Dean has slept in worse mattress, but still, he has been spoiled by the one in the bunker.

He can’t help groan in displeasure.

“The mattress isn’t that bad, Dean,” Castiel says without taking his eyes from the book.

“Shut up, Cas,” Dean groans. He slides down the bed. It really isn’t _that bad_ , but Dean isn’t going to let Cas know that he is right.

“Goodnight, Dean,” Cas murmurs, and Dean can hear some amusement in his voice.

Dean tilts his head to the side to look at Cas. Their eyes meet. Cas is looking at Dean tenderly, in a way that makes Dean’s heart skip a beat.

“Night, Cas,” Dean manages to say.

Cas goes back to reading his book and Dean turns on his side, showing his back to Cas.

His bed at the bunker and the one in this motel share one thing in common; they booth feel lonely.

* * *

Instead of opening his eyes when he wakes up, Dean rolls onto his side, buries his face on the pillow, and lets out a sound that is half a groan, half a huff.

“Good morning, Dean,” Cas says from the other bed.

Dean grumbles back something incompressible. It makes Castiel chuckle.

“Do you wish me to bring you coffee?” Cas asks, gently.

“That’ll make you a real angel,” Dean mumbles, peeking out one eye.

Cas frowns in confusion. “I _am_ a real angel, Dean.”

“It’s just an expression, Cas,” Dean grumbles again as he buries his face back into the pillows. He hates waking up this early. “Just bring me my coffee, please.”

Cas sighs tiredly as he stands up. “Do you want any food?”

“Grab me whatever looks better.”

“Of course.”

A few moments later, Dean hears the door close. He keeps his face buried in the pillow, not wanting to deal with the sunlight coming from the windows just yet. He can feel the chill temperature of the room, so he pulls up the sheets a little higher, not wanting to let the warmth of his bed.

He has almost drifted back to sleep when he hears the door opening. He turns his face just enough to see Cas carrying two cups of coffee and a paper bag that smells like bacon and chocolate.

“What did you get me?” Dean asks, slowly letting himself sit up. Good smelling food has its own kind of power.

“I didn’t know if you wanted something salty or sweet, so I brought you a BLT bagel and a vanilla and chocolate muffin,” Cas explains casually.

Dean can’t help letting out a delighted groan as he takes the food from the paper bag, his mouth watering at the delicious smell of the treats. “You’re the fucking best, Cas.”

Castiel blushes and he smiles softly, and fuck, Dean would give everything to be able to kiss Cas right now.

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas manages to say before taking a sip of his coffee.

Dean is about to take the first bite of the bagel, but he stops himself and decides to tear it in a half and he offers it to Cas.

“I don’t need to eat, Dean,” Castiel reminds him.

“You also don’t need to drink coffee and yet…” He smirks as he points with his head the cup in between Cas’ hands. The angel huffs. “Just take it and enjoy it, Cas.”

Cas finally gives in and takes the bagel. Their fingers brush for a few seconds, too little for Dean’s liking, but enough to briefly calm the constant hum of his touch starvation. After that, Dean also tears in a half the muffin and offers it to Cas, who also takes it. Again, their fingers brush one more time.

“Thank you,” Castiel says.

“No problem.”

They enjoy the delicious breakfast in a comfortable silence. Dean makes a mental note to ask Cas later where he got their breakfast, because if they have more things in their menu, Dean is definitely going to try almost everything they have available.

“Alright, I’m gonna take a shower first and then we’ll keep looking at that footage from the security cameras,” Dean announces. He stands up and begins to stretch his sore muscles.

Castiel nods. “I can start looking at the footage while you are in the shower.”

“Great.” He stretches his back and something pops in his spine. “Fuck,” Dean hisses.

Cas almost jumps from the bed to reach Dean. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s just that I don’t know how to stretch,” Dean says nonchalantly.

Still, Castiel looks at him worriedly. “Let me heal you.”

“It’s just a cramp, Cas. Not worth wasting your grace.”

“Healing you is never a waste of my grace,” Castiel remarks.

“Cas…” Dean whispers, unable to say anything more because he is touched by Cas’ concern.

“Please, Dean.”

Dean sighs. “Okay.”

Castiel looks relieved as his hand reaches Dean’s jaw, almost cupping it, almost holding it tenderly. Dean closes his eyes at the touch and fights against the instinct of leaning into the touch. Soon, the familiar feeling of Cas’ grace running through his body comes to him, and the pain in his body disappears quickly.

Cas pulls his hand away when he is done, too soon for Dean’s liking, who always seeks any type of touch that Cas can give him, but Dean doesn’t let himself go after that touch.

Dean opens his eyes and he meets those beautiful blue eyes he loves. They are so damn close, closer than usually, but the small distance in between them still feels like miles.

“Better?” Cas asks, grinning in a lovely way.

“Much better,” Dean says with an appreciative smile. “Thanks, Cas.”

The angel nods.

None of them moves away for a moment, as if neither of them was aware of how close they are standing, almost as if neither of them wanted to put any more distance in between them. But neither of them closes the remaining space either.

“I, uh— I should take that shower while you look at that footage,” Dean comments as he moves to put some safe distance in between them. “We still got a lot of footage to look at.”

“Yes, of course,” Castiel states, nodding as he walks towards the table where their laptops are.

Dean walks towards the bathroom, trying to calm the rapid beating of his heart.

Before he closes the door, he takes one last look at Cas and lets out a silent sigh.

* * *

It takes them a couple of hours to notice that in all the footages of the nights when the victims disappeared, there is always the same Ford f150 passing by after the victims left the place.

However, the footage never shows the full license plate, so once again, the two of them spend their time looking at the footages carefully, trying to see any numbers or letters, but they have only managed to see a blurry digit that could either be a three or an eight.

Lunch time arrives soon, and Dean quickly drives to get himself some burritos, getting one for Cas because Cas likes them too. Then, he goes back to the motel and he and Cas keep trying to get a better look at that damn license plate. Dean tries to look into the police records for anything concerning a Ford f150, but there’s absolutely nothing.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Dean groans, rubbing his face in displeasure.

“What is it?” Castiel asks, frowning in concern.

“I can’t find anything about the fucking car.” He lets out a frustrated groan and looks at Cas. “Any luck at making out those numbers?”

“No.”

Dean groans again. “Man, you’re supposed to have supervision, how can you not see the license plate?”

Castiel glares him. “Because, as you would say, the video quality of the footage sucks.”

Dean can’t help chuckling at hearing Cas express himself like that. “Fine, fine, don’t need to get so defensive, buddy.”

Castiel huffs, clearly annoyed.

Then, Dean’s phone starts ringing. The screen tells him that it is coming from an unknown number, but still, Dean picks up the call.

“Hello?” Dean asks.

“Agent Armstrong?” Sheriff Morris asks.

“Yeah, that’s me, hold on, I’m putting you on speaker so agent Dirnt can hear you.”

Castiel looks at him with an arched brow and Dean mouths the words “the sheriff” to let him know who they are talking to.

“Alright, sheriff, you’re on speaker, what is it?” Dean asks.

“Last night, a young man and a young woman in their twenties disappeared after they left a bar,” the sheriff begins to explain. “They were supposed to come to the house of the woman’s sister, but they didn’t. Nobody saw them after they left. It could be a normal disappearance, but given that it’s two people disappearing again made me wary, so I took a look at the security footage and…”

“And?” Dean and Cas say at the same time.

“There’s something weird going on in the footage,” she says, sounding slightly disturbed. Dean and Cas exchange a look. “I’ve never seen anything like this in my life. Just, hold on, I’m sending you the footage.”

Dean quickly opens his email account, and within a few seconds, he receives an email with an attached video.

“You got it?” Sheriff Morris asks.

“Yeah,” Dean answers as he plays the video.

Castiel presses against his side, wanting to take a look at the screen. He can feel Cas’ warmth so close to him that it is taking an amount of willpower to not lean into Cas’ solid body.

He focuses on the video, where a young woman and a young man are walking out of a bar.

“Dean, look,” Castiel whispers, pointing at the car they have seen in the other footages.

Before Dean can say anything back, a guy comes out of said vehicle and starts following the couple of friends. The moment he is about to be away from the security camera’s reach, when he is about to take a hold of the two people, his eyes lights up, as well as his arms, covered in tattoos.

“Damn it,” Dean grunts.

“I told you it was weird,” he sheriff says.

“Sheriff, I need you to tell me every piece of information you have about this guy.”

“I’ll send you everything we have so far.”

“Thank you. We’ll let you know when we stop the guy, but for now, don’t try to find him. Me and my partner will handle this. If we need your help, we’ll let you now.”

“Alright, agents.”

* * *

Seth Bryn is the name of the djinn they are looking for. He owns a Ford f150 and lives in a house outside of town. Thanks to the info the sheriff provided them about the guy, Dean and Cas easily find the location of the house.

Once they know where they have to go to, the sun has already set. They grab their silver knifes dipped in lamb’s blood as well as some angel blades because they also work on djinns, and then, they get into the Impala and drive towards the djinn’s house.

“Okay, let’s go through the plan one more time,” Dean says, taking one quick look at Cas before bringing his eyes back to the road.

“We get in the house and we go directly to the basement, because that is probably where the djinn is keeping the kidnapped couple,” Castiel begins to explain. “And hopefully, that will be where he will be, too.”

“Yeah,” Dean breathes out. Once again, he moves his head to his side to look at Cas. “If he glows blue, don’t let him touch you, okay?”

Castiel huffs in annoyance. “I am well aware of djinns’ powers and abilities, Dean.”

“I know that,” Dean snaps back, earning him a glare from his best friend. “Just— just be careful, okay? You still have your grace, but you’re not fully powered up and—”

“I’m not useless,” Cas interrupts, sounding both offended and hurt.

“I never said that, Cas.”

There is a silence in between them and they spend it looking at each other. Dean is the first one to break the eye contact because, after all, he is still driving.

“You aren’t useless, Cas,” Dean says, meaning his words. “You never are.”

“But you would prefer it if I were completely powered up,” Castiel supplies.

“That’s not true.”

Castiel scoffs.

“Listen,” Dean insists. “You could be human just like me, and I’d still think that you aren’t useless.”

Castiel takes a deep breath, showing that he still isn’t convinced.

“Look, I— I’m just worried, okay?” Dean asks. “I know this djinn ain’t Lucifer and it can’t kill you, but still, I don’t want you to get hurt, and that’s not ‘cause I think you’re useless, it’s ‘cause I worry about you, okay? Because I care about you.”

After saying the last sentence, Dean blushes as much as it is humanly possible. Thankfully, the darkness of the night can hide the redness of his face.

Meanwhile, Castiel looks at him with so much fondness and appreciation that Dean’s chest is filled with so much love that he thinks he could burst into flames.

“Dean, I— Thank you,” Castiel says, sounding both touched and emotional. “That’s very nice to hear.”

Dean simply hums. Words get stuck in his throat, and he doesn’t know if he should feel relieved or frustrated by that. Sometimes he wishes he could say some of the stuff he keeps in his heart, but he can’t. He was told to repress his feelings, to drown them as deep as he could, but he ended up drowning himself in the process too, and now, he can’t reach the surface; no matter how bad he wants to.

They make it to the djinn’s house. Dean parks the Impala some place away from the house, not wanting to drag any attention to them and get rid of their surprise factor. The guy’s Ford is parked in the entrance, but there aren’t any lights on in the house.

“Can you see if he’s inside there?” Dean murmurs.

“I don’t see him,” Castiel answers.

Dean huffs. “He’s gotta be home; his car’s there, so he’s probably hiding somewhere.”

“I believe so.”

Dean takes a deep breath, feeling the familiar adrenaline and anticipation that comes before heading into a fight against a monster.

“C’mon,” Dean says, patting Cas’ arm. “Let’s grab the knives and head to the house.”

They grab their weapons and they silently walk towards the house. Once they are there, Cas uses his mojo to open the front door. Before they step in, Dean looks at Cas. He wants to reach his hand and give him an encouraging squeeze. Dean doesn’t know if he wants to do it to comfort Cas or himself. Probably both.

The house is completely dark, but the light coming from the moon illuminates the place just enough to make out its surroundings. With careful steps, they both keep walking, being mindful of the old floorboards.

With no trouble, they find the stairs that lead to the basement. As they descend the steps, they can hear some muffled noises coming from the door. Dean and Castiel exchange a quick look; somebody is there and the person sounds like they are in pain.

They are about to open the door, but suddenly, a man’s scream comes from upstairs. The sound disappears as quickly as it happened, leaving Dean and Castiel confused. Then, they hear another groan coming from the door of the basement.

“The victims must be separated,” Castiel whispers.

“Yeah, it looks like that,” Dean agrees in a murmur. “You go to the basement while I go upstairs.”

“Dean, no,” Cas says, grabbing Dean’s wrist, stopping his movements.

Once again, the man screams as briefly as before, but the sound carries so much pain.

“He’s probably torturing that man upstairs,” Dean begins to say. “I’m gonna go after him while you take a look at the basement, heal whoever’s locked there, and then you come upstairs and find me, alright?”

Cas doesn’t look convinced, but he lets out a frustrated sigh. “Fine. Just— be careful.”

Dean’s heart melts. “You, too.”

Without wasting any more time, Dean climbs the stairs, leaving Cas behind to open the basement’s door.

Once again, Dean is careful to be as quiet as possible. He climbs the stairs that lead him to the upper floor. He looks around the rooms in the hall, seeing that all of them have their doors open except for one at the end of the hall, where some weak light is coming from under the closed door.

Dean starts to approach that room, feeling his heart hammering in his chest. He doesn’t know what he is going to find behind, but he is ready for anything.

He places his hand on the doorknob and slowly opens the door, not wanting to make any sound, and he steps inside.

He finds himself alone in the bedroom. It makes Dean wary of his surroundings. Something isn’t right. Then, he sees a big closet, and Dean decides to approach it carefully. He should probably go to the basement and see what Cas is doing, because he must have found the djinn down there, but Dean knows that the scream came from this place, and he needs to find the screaming man, and the only place left to look, is the closet.

With steady hands, Dean is about to open the closet, but before he can, Seth, the djinn, throws them open from inside with a strong force that makes Dean fall back.

“Boo!” Seth exclaims with a grin.

Dean quickly stands up, ready to fight the djinn, but before he can, one strong arm wraps around his waist while another hand is placed on his head. The sleeves of the woman are rolled up, and Dean can see her tattoos lightning up in blue. It happens so fast that Dean only has time to see sheriff Morris’ eyes lightened up in blue before Dean falls asleep by her power.

“Sweet dreams, hunter,” sheriff Morris says.


	2. Whenever I Want You, All I Have to Do is Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Work has given me a break, so I can update a week earlier than I planned to, so here's the next chapter! Thank you so much for the kudos, the comments, the bookmarks and the subscriptions :')
> 
> This chapter is titled after the song _All I Have To Do Is Dream_ by The Everly Brothers

Dean wakes up in a start and almost jumps from the warm and comfortable bed he is in.

“Dean?” Cas asks next to him, waking up in worry. He sits up so he can look at Dean’s eyes. Immediately, his hand reaches Dean’s shoulder, trying to calm him down. “What’s wrong?”

Dean looks at him. He and Cas are in the same bed, together.

He looks around for a moment, quickly taking in his surroundings. The room looks cozy and nice. There’s a window where the sunlight is already coming through, lightning up the place warmly. There’s also way more furniture in this bedroom than in Dean’s room at the bunker. And there are also a few photos of him and Cas from what looks like to be their wedding day.

“Dean?” Castiel asks again, sounding more worried than before.

Dean looks back at Cas, and meets his beautiful blue eyes.

This is a dream. Dean knows it. He still remembers that he found Seth, the djinn, and then, Sheriff Morris appeared to be also a djinn and put him to sleep. That’s why there were pairs of victims; the djinns were each feeding from one victim.

Now, Dean must be somewhere in Seth’s house, unconscious and getting his blood slowly drained. And Cas, the real Cas, not the one in front of him right now, must be either looking for Dean or also trapped in his own personal dreamland.

Dean knows he has to kill himself to get out of the dream and kill the djinns. He needs to get out of here as fast as possible.

“Dean,” Castiel says softly. His hand comes to Dean’s face and he cups it, and Dean can’t help but lean into the touch, craving it. “What’s wrong?”

Dean simply stares at the man he loves. He knows that he isn’t his Cas, that this is someone fabricated by his desires and dreams, but that’s the problem; it is Dean’s dream, something that he wants, something that he desperately longs for, something that every fiber of his being aches for. It is a dream and he should get out of here right now, but Cas is there, in front of him and they are together, they are married, but most importantly; Cas loves him back.

And that’s what makes Dean’s will falter. Cas loves him in this world. Dean knows that this will never happen in the real world. Dean can dream about Cas loving him, but deep down, he knows that it will never be the case. Dean knows he is only a fucked up hunter with too much issues and problems, a man with a foot already in the grave, and Cas is a fucking angel of the Lord, a powerful and extraordinary celestial wavelength who has witnessed so many incredible things in the universe. There is no way someone like Cas would fall in love with someone as broken as Dean.

But here, Dean gets to know what it is like to love and be loved by Cas freely, and Dean wants to know what it feels like. At least for a whole day. A whole day in dreamland is just an hour in the real world, more or less, so Dean can do it. Dean can remain in dreamland just for a little while. Just enough to know how it feels to have his love reciprocated. Just enough to calm the aching desires in his heart. Then, when the day passes, Dean will leave this wonderful place.

He knows that this is a stupid decision, that it will only bring him pain later, because he will know what it is to be able to love Cas and to have Cas’ love, and he will know that he will never have it in the real world. But Dean is an expert about living in pain, about wanting things he can’t have. He can live with another more layer of pain. He already has a broken heart; what does it matter if it gets a little bit more broken?

For once, Dean wants to be happy. Even if nothing of this is real, Dean doesn’t mind. He is weak, and he wants to be happy, just for a little while. He deserves it.

He only hopes that Cas doesn’t come into his head, because if he sees that Dean wants this, he will lose Cas forever.

“I had a bad dream, that’s all,” Dean answers as he rubs his cheek against Cas’ palm. He loves being able to do something as simple as this. “When I woke up, I didn’t know where I was.”

Castiel lets out a relieved sigh at first, but then, he looks at Dean in pain. “I’m sorry you had a nightmare.”

“It’s okay now,” Dean says before pressing a tentative kiss on Cas’ palm. Cas blushes at that, and Dean finds himself grinning at that sight. “Sorry for waking you up.”

“Don’t worry,” Cas replies, almost breathless as his hand caresses Dean’s face. He does it softly and tenderly, like someone who has done this to his loved one countless times.

Dean smiles again, then he cups Cas’ face and he leans in closer so he can kiss him. Cas lets out a soft moan that is both surprised and delighted before he starts kissing Dean back. He brings one of his hands to Dean’s jaw while the other rests where the handprint used to be. They kiss softly, but there is a hint of desperation in it, probably coming from Dean, who has wanted to do this for so long.

They kiss for a while, until both of them pull away to take a needed breath. Despite not kissing at this moment, their faces remain close and their foreheads are touching. They look at each other lovingly, with dopey smiles.

Dean finally knows what it feels like to kiss Cas, and it is amazing.

 _It’s not your Cas_ , Dean’s mind says.

But Dean pushes away that thought.

_Let me have this for once. Just for a day. Let me have the man I love for just one day. I’m not asking for much._

Cas leans in to kiss him again, pulling Dean away from his thoughts. He can’t help melting into the sweetness of Cas’ kiss. Despite having lips that look chapped, Cas’ lips are soft, a great contrast to the light burn of his stubble. It’s only their second kiss and Dean is already in love with their kisses.

“Good morning, Cas,” Dean murmurs, when Cas pulls away.

Castiel chuckles. Once again, his hand caresses Dean’s face, but this time, he also starts brushing Dean’s hair. “Good morning, Dean.”

“Got any plans for today?” Dean asks, leaning into the warmth of Cas’ touch.

Cas frowns. “I don’t think so.”

“Good.” Dean leans in to steal a quick kiss from Cas’ lips. “Wanna stay in bed for a little longer while we kiss and cuddle?”

Cas looks extremely delighted at Dean’s proposition. “I would love that, Dean.”

Dean grins. “Awesome.”

Without wasting any other second, Dean cups Cas’ face and they begin to kiss. He can feel Cas’ radiant smile as Dean lies him down onto the bed, never tearing his lips from Castiel’s. Dean ends up on top of Cas, who immediately gets his arms around Dean. His strong hands move along Dean’s back, shoulders, arms and hair, as if he wanted to touch everywhere but didn’t know where to settle; it makes Dean grin, because his hands are behaving in the same way. He wants to touch Cas everywhere as they kiss, to map every part of his body, to touch him in the way he is not allowed outside dreamland, to burn into his memory the feeling of Cas’ body under his hands.

For Dean, it feels amazing to feel how his touch starvation easily fades away, how every touch Cas gives him makes him feel loved and cared. But he also loves being able to touch, to be able to express his love and feelings through his hands and kisses.

They keep kissing for a long time, only separating their lips when one of them needs to breathe. When that happens, their eyes meet and they smile at each other, and then, they go back to kissing and caressing each other, not wanting to take things further, just content to be like this, kissing and holding.

Dean manages to quiet the intrusive thoughts that remind him that this is not real, that this Cas was made from his dreams. Dean knows this is all fake, but Dean willingly lets himself fall into the lie, because for once, his heart doesn’t ache and instead, it is filled with comfort, warmth and love, something that will never happen in his real life.

Eventually, their kisses grow lazier and slower. There is a moment when Dean pulls away from their current kiss and looks at Cas; his lips are swollen and red, there is a lovely blush covering his cheeks, and his beautiful blue eyes are filled with happiness and love. Dean presses a peck on Cas’ lips and then he buries his face in the curve of his neck.

Cas lets out a content sigh and embraces Dean tightly, pressing him even closer. Dean nuzzles Cas’ neck and presses a sweet kiss on the same spot as he holds Cas tightly, too, and he tangles their legs.

Cas kisses the top of Dean’s head, and this time, Dean is the one who makes a content sigh. He feels loved, safe and warm. He has never felt this good before.

Suddenly, Dean’s stomach grumbles, disrupting the nice quietness in the room.

Cas chuckles. “I believe you are hungry, Dean.”

Dean grunts. It’s not like he will die from starvation here, because he is trapped inside his mind, so eating or not eating in dreamland won’t do a thing, but he guess he has to play along and pretend that this is real to keep the dream going on.

“Yeah,” Dean says. “But I don’t wanna leave bed.”

“I can’t believe that you aren’t prioritizing food,” Castiel comments, clearly amused.

“What can I say?” Dean asks, using a flirtatious voice as he tilts his head just enough to look at Cas. “I like being like this with you.”

Cas’ face quickly brushes and Dean can’t help but laugh in joy.

“I can’t believe I made you blush,” Dean teases. He reaches a hand to brush Cas’ cheeks, feeling their heat.

“You are insufferable, Dean,” Cas states, giving him a glare, but his lips are forming a beautiful smile.

Dean can’t help himself and he presses his lips against Cas’ one more time, treasuring in his mind the wonderful thing that it is to feel Cas’ smile when they kiss.

Again, Dean’s stomach grumbles in complain, and Dean pulls away to glare at his own stomach.

“Shut the fuck up, stomach,” Dean complains.

“I don’t believe your stomach is going to listen to you,” Castiel deadpans.

Dean rolls his eyes. He is about to say something snappy, but Cas starts to run his fingers through Dean’s hair so softly, that Dean forgets whatever he was going to say. He is so damn enamored with Cas’ hands and lips.

“We should get up and have breakfast,” Cas suggests.

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Dean murmurs as he rolls over and sits on the edge of their bed. He immediately misses Cas’ warmth, but the feeling isn’t as intense as it is in the real world. It might be because here, Dean knows that he can be near Cas and touch him and hold him at any given time. He doesn’t have to fight against the feeling of wanting to be closer to Cas.

Cas gets up from their bed and stretches himself, and Dean turns his face to look at him. For this Cas, this is just a normal morning, something he and Dean do all the time. For Dean, this is the only time he will have anything close to this.

“I should take a shower,” Castiel announces after stretching.

“Yeah, me, too,” Dean says. Not that he technically needs it, but he loves showers.

Cas looks at him for a moment with a pondering and shy face. “Do you—” He begins to say, sounding slightly shy, and Dean finds it so damn adorable. “Do you want to take a shower with me?”

Dean knows he is gaping, but he quickly recovers himself and he looks at Cas with a soft smile. “I’d fucking love that, Cas.”

Cas smiles, both relieved and happy. He walks to the other side of the bed and offers his hand to Dean, who quickly grabs it and stands up.

“Come on,” Cas simply says.

Dean lets himself be pulled to the bathroom. He closes the door behind him before Cas cups his face and kisses him tenderly. Dean’s hands immediately come to rest on the small of Cas’ back, wanting him closer.

Cas smiles as he pulls away. His thumbs caress Dean’s cheekbones as his eyes follow the motion. Then, he lifts his eyes and his hand combs Dean’s hair, smiling as he does so.

“What are you smiling at?” Dean asks, curiously.

“Your hair,” Cas answers easily. “It goes in every direction.”

“You’re one to talk,” Dean scoffs, pointing Cas’ messy hair.

Cas chuckles. Then, he pulls away from Dean’s embrace and starts the shower so by the time they get under the spray, they will have hot water. As Cas does that, Dean begins to take off his t-shirt. Once Dean has thrown it to the basket, Dean notices that Cas is staring at him.

Dean arches his brow. “Cas, you’re staring. Not that I mind,” Dean says, chuckling. “It’s nice to know that I can get this effect from you, but I believe you’re five seconds away from dropping your jaw like a cartoon.” He mimics that motion dramatically, trying to contain his laughter, but he fails.

Castiel rolls his eyes and then he glares Dean. “You have a terrible sense of humor, Dean.”

“I’m fucking hilarious. You know that.”

Cas shakes his head and he takes off his t-shirt. Now it is Dean’s turn to stare. Cas has tanned skin, some scattered freckles on his stomach, and one dark freckle right above his left nipple. He also has muscular arms and a muscular chest. And he has his Enochian tattoo and sharp hipbones.

Dean doesn’t know if he should be frustrated by how much Cas’ trench coat hides Cas’ beautiful body or lucky for it.

“Dean,” Cas says, making Dean move up his eyes from Cas’ hips to his face. “You’re staring.”

Dean glares him and gives him his middle finger. It makes Cas laugh brightly, and Dean can’t stay mad at him anymore. He loves the sound of Cas laughing so damn much. It is a shame he doesn’t get to hear it as much as he would love to in the real world. But every time Dean manages to make Cas laugh, he considers it a victory and he makes sure to keep that moment imprinted in his memory.

Dean then proceeds to take off his underwear, and Castiel takes off his boxers too at the same time. By the time they are completely naked, they look at each other. This is the first time Dean has seen Cas completely naked, and he is fucking beautiful. He knows he is staring again, but Cas seems to be doing the same, so Dean doesn’t mind. He lets his eyes wonder through the dark curls of Cas’ groin, paying attention to Cas’ cock, a little bit longer and thicker that Dean’s, then he takes into Cas’ strong and thick thighs, and all that beautiful tanned skin. And then, his eyes go back to Cas’ face, and their eyes meet again.

“You’re beautiful, Dean,” Cas says, and his words sound so touching and honest.

“You’re fucking beautiful, Cas,” Dean says, almost in the same voice. Then, he gets closer to Cas and kisses him deeply but softly, leaving Cas breathless by the time they pull away. “We’re gonna run out of hot water if we stay out here.”  
Cas chuckles as he nods.

They step together into the shower, big enough for the two of them. The pressure and the temperature of the water are incredible, and Dean finds himself humming pleased and the glorious feeling. Cas presses himself against Dean’s chest, letting the hot water run down their bodies. He closes his eyes and tilts his head up, smiling at the feeling of the water. It is a sight that makes Dean smile and cup Cas’ face and kiss him softly.

When Dean pulls away, Cas grunts in protest, which makes Dean laugh, and then they are kissing again and holding each other as the water keeps falling onto them.

Despite being completely naked, pressed together, hot and wet, neither of them is getting hard. They just want to be close right now. It’s not like Dean would say no if something sexual happened in between them, he has thought about having sex with Cas countless of times, but as much as Dean craves sex, he also craves intimacy and closeness in a non-sexual way.

Sex has always been easy to find in Dean’s life, but getting to have this type of intimacy has never occurred before. Wanting to be with someone just for the sake of being close, without looking for something physical or pleasurable, is something that Dean has never had before. And he finds that he loves it so much.

Cas rests the side of his head on Dean’s shoulder and one of his hand laces his fingers with Dean’s. Dean smiles as his free hand rubs circles on the small of Cas’ back.

“I like being this close to you,” Cas murmurs, just loud enough for Dean to hear him over the sound of the water.

“Me, too, Cas,” Dean agrees, also using a low voice. He nuzzles Cas’ wet hair before pressing a lingering kiss there. 

They stay like that for a while, pressed together, holding hands and holding each other as the water keeps falling, never turning colder.

Eventually, they decide to take a shower in the sense of the word, because Dean’s stomach grumbles in protest one more time.

They wash each other with gentle touches, taking their time. But by the time they wash each other’s hairs, Dean decides to make it fun and he starts to use the shampoo’s foam to give Cas a punk hairstyle.

“If you start singing _God Save the Queen_ right now, I’m gonna lose it,” Dean says, trying to hold his laughter.

Castiel frowns. “Is that the one that repeatedly says that there’s no future?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

Cas hums in acknowledgement. “You played it once when we were heading to Colorado to deal with a vengeful spirit.”

Dean remembers that case. It was a good old salt and burn case that he, Cas and Sam handled two years ago in the real world. It was one of those rare times when Cas didn’t have to leave the bunker to look for something that would help them with their current apocalypse nor having to go upstairs to deal with Heaven’s bullshit.

Sometimes Dean wonders why Cas has to leave so often. Things have changed since they defeated Michael and Lucifer, but still, Dean is always waiting for the day when Cas will leave for good.

He decides to push that thought away. He will have plenty of time in the real world to think about all the bad stuff. For now, he just wants to be happy and enjoy his time in dreamland.

“Yeah, I remember,” Dean says after a beat. “The question is, do you remember the song? ‘Cause I’d fucking love it if you sang it right now.”

Castiel rolls his eyes and he starts to hum the song, trying to remember the lyrics. “God Save the Queen,” Cas begins to sing, although it sounds more like he is simply saying the lyrics. “No future, no future, no future for you?” Castiel frowns. “I’m sorry, but the singer should have taken some pronunciation classes before recording that song.”

Dean bursts out laughing and Cas is soon laughing too, although softer than Dean, who once his laughter has calmed down, leans down to give Cas a breathtaking kiss.

“Well, I’m satisfied with your attempt,” Dean admits.

Cas smiles and shakes his head. He then lifts his hands to turn Dean’s hair into some weird or crazy hairstyle using the shampoo’s foam. Dean can’t see it, but he is pretty sure that Cas is spiking his hair. But then, Cas seems to not like the result and he simply messes up Dean’s hair. Dean arches a brow, waiting for an explanation, but Cas starts laughing instead.

“Your laughter is making me think that you shaped my hair into a dick,” Dean states.

“I didn’t shape it into a dick, Dean,” Cas says, giving him an odd look. “I just made it chaotic.”

Dean chuckles before Cas leans in to kiss him again. He loves kissing him so damn much. How is he going to go back to his life without being able to kiss Cas again?

_This is why you should leave right fucking now. The longer you stay here, the worse it will get. You want to be here, experience what you can’t have in the real world, but you are only torturing yourself. You are letting yourself know what it feels like to have Cas. And you will spend the rest of your life knowing how it could be if you two were together and knowing it is never going to happen. You can’t keep doing this, Dean. This isn’t healthy._

But Dean mentally kicks that smart and sensible part of his brain.

_Let me have him for once. I don’t care if this will hurt me later, if it’ll make me want to tear my skin off, if it’ll make me want to rip out my heart. I’m used to pain. I know how to live with a broken heart. But let me have Cas for once. Let me love him without having to hide in shame and embarrassment. Let me kiss him and hold him instead of forcing myself to keep the distance in between us. Let me love him without the fear of losing him. Let me have Cas’ love._

If the sensible part of his brain has any other words to say, they are quickly shut down by the way Cas kisses Dean.

* * *

When they get downstairs to have breakfast, Dean is met with the kitchen of his dreams, both literally and figuratively.

He likes the kitchen they have in the bunker, but it looks industrial and lacks the coziness factor. The one in his dreams is cozy, big, warm and it has natural light coming from the big window in front of the sink. There’s a huge fridge, several cabinets, a big and clean counter, and a table with four chairs to sit down and enjoy their food or their beverages, or just to sit down and be there doing something else.

Dean wants a kitchen like this in the real world.

He doesn’t need to know where all the stuff is. It is his dream after all, so his mind will make him find the things he is looking for at the first try.

“Waffles or pancakes, Cas?” Dean asks in excitement. He can’t wait to use this kitchen. Also, he loves cooking for the people he loves.

“Whatever you feel like, Dean,” Cas says as he makes coffee for the two of them. “As long as the food is cooked by you, I’ll enjoy it.”

Dean blushes. “You flatterer.” He moves towards Cas and he presses a lingering kiss on his cheek, earning him a lovely smile from Cas. “Okay, I feel like eating something salty, so I’m gonna make some pancakes, some bacon and some eggs. Sounds good?”

“It sounds delicious.”

Dean winks at him before he gathers all the ingredients.

By the time he is mixing the batter, the coffee is made, and Cas serves it into two mugs. He hands one to Dean, who takes a quick sip and hums in appreciation after tasting it, letting Cas know that the coffee tastes great.

He keeps mixing the batter, wanting to get it as smooth as possible. As he does so, Cas comes from behind him and presses his chest against Dean’s back. It surprises Dean at first, but then he immediately relaxes against Cas, who wraps his arms around Dean’s waist and then presses a kiss on his freckled nape.

“Do you need help?” Cas asks as he nuzzles Dean’s neck.

“I was gonna suggest that you help me fry the bacon, but I kind of like what you’re doing right now and I don’t want you to go anywhere,” Dean confesses with a cocky grin.

Castiel chuckles. “I regret to tell you that if I remain in this position, you will find it difficult to cook.”

Dean clicks his tongue. “Shame.”

“Indeed,” Cas agrees before kissing Dean’s nape again. “I will fry the bacon.”

“Okay.”

Before Cas pulls away completely, Dean gives one of Cas’ hands a soft squeeze.

While Dean makes pancakes, Cas fries their bacon. He doesn’t know much about cooking, so Dean tells him when he has to flip the stripes and when he has to remove them from the pan and put them on a plate because they are done. Dean likes his bacon crispy but with a slight tenderness in its middle.

Every once in a while, they share a few kisses, but only when they know none of their foods are in danger of being burnt. It is something so domestic and it is a fucking bliss for Dean.

 _What wouldn’t I give to have this with the real Cas_ , Dean thinks.

Finally, they fry two eggs, one for each, and then, they sit around the table to enjoy their delicious and big breakfast. They sit next to each other, which isn’t a novelty, really, Dean and Cas tend to sit next to each other all the time. The novelty resides in being able to sit with their knees pressed together and in kissing to congratulate each other for the amazing food.

As they keep enjoying the food, Dean takes a look around. He can see the living room, which has tons of shelves with books and movies, a big couch that seems to be really comfortable and a nice TV. He can also see that there are more photos there; some of them are just of him and Cas, but most of them are of the two of them and Sam, and of several other members of their family, like Jody, Donna and the girls.

He also manages to see that they have a backyard and that the house is located in a forest. It is a really nice place.

“What are you looking at?” Cas wonders.

“At the backyard,” Dean answers, casually. “It looks nice outside.”

“It does,” Cas agrees before drinking the last of his coffee.

“Wanna go for a walk after we wash the dishes?”

Cas arches his eyebrow and looks at Dean in disbelief. “You don’t like going for walks.”

“I do like going for walks!”

Cas scoffs. “I think I have seen you more time driving in the Impala than walking.”

Dean is about to argue, but he realizes that Cas has a point. “Well, that’s ‘cause we tend to do long ass journeys. It’s not like we can go on foot from one state to another.”

Castiel rolls his eyes as hard as humanly possible.

“Besides,” Dean adds. “I do enjoying going for a walk every now and then. What I hate is running. You’re never gonna convince me to run for pleasure. I only run during hunts, and that’s ‘cause I don’t wanna get killed.”

“True,” Cas agrees with a funny face.

“So, you wanna go out for a walk with me?” Dean asks as he brushes Cas’ dark hair. Cas instantly leans into the touch, smiling softly.

“Do you have any place in mind?”

“Not really,” Dean admits. He doesn’t know what the surroundings around the house look like, but his mind will come up with something. “I just wanna be with you, to be honest.”

Cas seems really touched by Dean’s words. He looks at Dean with such intensity that Dean is overwhelmed by that gaze. Then, Cas cups his face and kisses Dean passionately.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Dean says out of breath.

Cas chuckles. “It _is_ a yes, Dean.”

He kisses Dean again, just briefly, but Dean is left looking at Cas with a gummy smile.

“You are beautiful when you smile, Dean,” Cas says. His hand caresses Dean’s face, and his fingers brush the crow feet at the corner of his eyes.

Dean huffs and blushes. “You’re such a sap, Cas.”

“I’m just being honest.”

“Well, if we’re being honest here… You should know that I fucking love it when you smile and when you laugh,” Dean admits. It is something he can’t say in the real world, because he doesn’t know how Cas would react and because the words never make it out pass his tongue. It is so hard to say the things he wants to say in the real world, but here in dreamland, they come out easily. Probably because he isn’t scared of losing Cas in this reality. “You look fucking beautiful when you smile and when you laugh.”

Cas smiles and kisses Dean again. “Thank you, Dean. That’s very nice of you to say.”

“I mean it.”

“I know.”

They share another kiss.

Then, they begin to gather everything from the table and they proceed to wash and dry the dishes together. They have done this in the bunker several times, well, Dean has done it with the real Cas, but for some reason, doing this in dreamland feels better. Perhaps it is because every time he and Cas look at each other’s eyes, Dean doesn’t have to look away, or because if their fingers brush, Dean doesn’t have to tell himself that he is lingering for too long.

“Ready for our walk?” Dean asks as he hands Cas a cloth to dry his hands.

“Yes, but I need to go to the bathroom first,” Cas answers as he quickly dries his hands.

“Okay, I’ll wait for you in the backyard.”

Dean leans and steals another kiss. He has lost count how many times they have kissed since he appeared here, but every kiss still feels as amazing as the first.

He watches Cas go to the bathroom for a moment before he heads outside to the backyard. They have a big and beautiful garden with tons of plants and a few fruit trees. He also can see an orchard, and he wonders if Cas is the one responsible for it.

It would be nice if he and Cas could live in a place like this.

_It is never going to happen, Dean. You are just a fucked up hunter. Cas deserves better. You might love him more than anyone in this world, but that doesn’t mean it is enough. It will never be enough. Deep down, you know he will eventually get tired of your sorry ass and your bullshit and he will leave._

Dean shakes his head, wanting to get rid of his thoughts. He knows about Cas’ tendency to leave, but his hopeful heart always reminds him that Cas always comes back to him. He even came back to him after Lucifer killed him.

But that doesn’t mean that Cas can love him. Dean is hard to love; he is too broken and too fucked up. Besides, even if he did love Dean, Cas deserves someone better, someone who can make him happy and who isn’t afraid of saying what is in his heart.

Dean isn’t that person.

Suddenly, Dean loses sight of the backyard and he briefly sees that he is in some dark basement. Then, he sees a hand lightened up in dark blue and the backyard comes back to focus.

He knows that what he saw is the real world and that the djinns have him. He should wake up and leave this place, because the only thing that he is going to gain from remaining in this reality is pain.

But the moment Cas places his hand on the small of Dean’s back and Dean looks at his beautiful face and his beautiful smile, Dean’s fight is completely gone. He wants to be here for a little longer. He is tired of hurting, of not being able to have the happiness he desperately seeks, of not being able to be with the man he loves.

“Shall we?” Cas asks with a beautiful grin.

Dean simply smiles and intertwines his fingers with Cas.

“Hell, yeah,” Dean answers.


End file.
